Should've Gone to Work

I'm not sure this day could have gone more contrary to my hopes and plans. I'm also not sure that blogging while cranky is a very good idea. But then, if I waited for my crankiness to go away before I did stuff, I'd spend most of my life sitting around waiting.

My early morning trip to PT was the first part of the fun. My therapist is incredibly good-natured in spite of my terminal crankiness, and she is always trying to perk me up when I get frustrated by my lack of ability to do things. After several minutes of rather intense (pardon the descriptor) grinding away at my IT band (the band of tendonous fibers that runs from the knee to the hip on the outside of the leg), we moved into the gym to try a few things that will help my balance and strength. Ever try to walk sideways on a treadmill? Without looking like an idiot? Apparently it's harder than it sounds. At least I hope it's harder than it sounds, 'cause it was pretty hard. Then we moved back inside to try some controlled stepping--where I stand on a step with one leg and lower the other leg to the floor. The only problem is that regular stair steps are far too tall for me to perform this miraculous feat without pain, so I need to use something shorter. We tried a couple of heights to find the right one. The final result? 1.5". That's one-and-a-half inches of height. That's barely enough clearance to step on one of those bugs in Ellen's apartment. As I measured the height (so I could properly replicate it at home), I could do nothing but laugh. On our way out, my therapist said she thought it would be easy for me to handle how long this is all going to take, since I just had surgery and all. Apparently most people get the concept that surgery slows them down. Oh. Did I mention she does SARCASM really, really well? I must be rubbing off on her after all these months...

So then it was off to the big city once again to see Dr. Clarke, the patron saint of hips. After a few questions, pokes, prods, and stretches, he said he would need to see me again in about 4.5-5 months for another follow-up so we could see how things are going 6 months after surgery. "Until then, you'll need to keep kind of a low profile," he said ominously. "So, what exactly does that mean?" I asked suspiciously. After that, everything gets a little fuzzy. But in spite of my best efforts to misunderstand him, I'm pretty sure he said that I can't run (no worries there) or do any serious karate (uh, slight problem there) for 5 more months. So by my calculations, when all is said and done, that will amount to 12 kick-free months in total. (My pondering of this fact is usually followed by a sort of naturally-occurring stunned silence, which I will attempt to recreate for you now...........................................................................................................................................................

I got nothin'.